Making the Heart Big Again
A short story on making the heart big again when you feel helpless or devastated.
There's a saying in Sindhi that goes “Dil nandhi na kar”. In literal sense, it means don't make your heart small. You can compare it to don't lose heart in English.
My father would say dil nandhi na kar to me as a child whenever I'd be sad or heartbroken. Even as a child, this phrase would make me feel special. I had to take care of this worthy, important, and vulnerable organ.
When I grew up, I started seeing what can affect the heart deeply. There are moments in our lives when dear friends move away or loved ones leave us behind. There may be times when a beloved pet dies, or a family member severs ties with or deeply hurts us. And there are times when the world itself is in sheer despair - just look at the wars and conflicts happening in many countries right now.
What happens to the heart in these circumstances?
When we get really sad, it’s common to say my heart sank or my heart hurts. It’s not untrue; the heart does get affected by sadness it seems.
According to Harvard Medical School, your heartbeat shoots up, your blood pressure increases, and you start to breathe faster when you’re given sudden devastating news.
This level of adrenaline caused by stress, unlike the good adrenaline jolts generated by exercising, isn’t healthy in the long run and can cause you to get broken heart syndrome.
So, how do you make your heart big again in a world that is fighting and where love and peace aren’t guaranteed? How do you safeguard it from sinking and hurting unbearably?
By spending time with those that make the heart happy, such as: friends, family, colleagues, and pets.
By taking the time to indulge in hobbies, rituals, and (for those who believe in a higher power) connecting.
By realising you can let go a little. That you are only a speck of stardust in the entire universe, and you can’t control everything that happens around you.
By sheltering yourself and walking away from what is unnecessary, such as: drama, conflict, hatred, and silly things like engaging in discussions on social media.
I’ll leave you with 3 golden rules I follow to keep my heart big in times of distress:
People will not change until they see how their actions affect another. Your sadness won’t fix that.
It isn’t your job to fix, educate, or raise friends, family members, and colleagues.
Love is the source of every living being. The more you believe in it, the more you’ll find it. And the more love you see, the less fixated you’ll be on the bad that happens to or around you.
I hope you choose to see your heart as the beautiful source of love that it is, and no matter what: dil nandhi na kar :)
With gratitude,
Raksha