Sucky Days, Sucky Affirmations, and Music as Medicine
A story on adversity and an expert tip to make your affirmations work.
Hello dear reader,
The past week has been a bit unusual in comparison to the peace and quiet I’m used to. I’ve had an unpleasant experience followed by erratic sleep, plus a day on which I woke up and felt like everything was hurting: my neck, back, feet, and shoulders!
It’s why you didn’t hear from me on Sunday the 11th of August. But I’m back now, so all is well :)
Now tell me; How have you really been? Has everything been working out for you? Have you gotten enough sleep? Have you felt rested after waking? Have you felt supported, loved, and understood by the people around you?
I’m not asking these questions for the sake of them or expecting a correct answer. You see, one of my clients, a renowned psychologist and coach, recently illustrated the importance of being honest with ourselves and others with their own example. The “how are you?” question I asked during our meeting was answered with an “I’m okay, even though I have recently lost a family member and am still processing that.”
I was amazed by this demonstration of both strength and vulnerability. It’s not often they show up at the same time, right? How comforting to be so deeply-accepting of ourselves and reality without trying to hide behind perfection, I thought.
Coming back to how you’re feeling; social media posts often share how affirmations can be used to change your state of mind and feel better. I swear I’ve read stuff like “Just stand in front of the mirror and repeat I am brave and fearless”. Lol.
But many who meditate or spend time reflecting will tell you that affirmations by themselves are not enough. In fact, they tend not to stick in the psyche because they sound weird and unnatural to our subconscious mind.
Carla Mahnken Woolf, author of 4 books on cognitive intelligence and neuroplasticity (and a really dear friend of mine) very kindly explained to me why affirmations fall short of their promise. Here’s what she shared:
“There are things we firmly believe in, which stand in the way of what we seek and desire. Why? Because our beliefs, unlike affirmations, are backed up and coded by our language skills and the emotions that were dispensed with them. That’s why feelings of mistrust and inadequacy oversee our self-talk.
Too many of our words, during the early stages of intuitive language development in childhood, were delivered with the false emotions of guilt and lack.
Subsequently, many words we repeat as adults are still laced with feelings of inadequacy, which dismantles the brain’s ability to learn and care for others in the best way. They also keep us from truly understanding our biggest hopes and dreams” she says.
“That explanation is oddly comforting, Carla. Is there a way to make affirmations stick in the psyche and feel natural?”
“Yes, of course! Our brains are literally looking for a fix, since they operate on multiple resonances and frequencies. Music offers the space for all of our authentic intentions to dance together, simultaneously bringing the essence of connectivity to our minds and bodies. The multiple dynamics and properties of music appeal to our brains' longing for connectivity, such that all assumptions are released. We surrender our bodies and souls to the diversified properties of music without reservation or judgment.”
“So, we should sing along our affirmations to music? It’s that easy?”
“Exactly! Children do this naturally by making up song lyrics as they go. Adults can do it too. Simply take the words from your affirmations, reproduce them as lyrics of your favourite song, and sing them. And while you’re at it, let your whole body dance to and move with the rhythm.
Music is the language of the universe, so sing your way to success and release your words to the knowledge that binds us all. The universe is rooting for our achievements! Remember: Feelings involve your whole body. When you decide to make your life better, every part of you needs to work together with the same goal in mind to help you succeed.”
And there you have it; an antidote to sucky days and sucky affirmations. Try it and let me know how you go. In the meantime, I shall head to the shower and sing “I’m ready for the best” to the tune of Differentology by Bunji Garlin, hehe.
PS. Carla has an awesome podcast that explains how the brain is wired, why 4-year-olds are geniuses, the purpose of intuition and much more. Tune in if this is something for you!
With gratitude,
Raksha
Thank you, Grácias amiga, and all those words that mean gratitude. It is my pleasure to always have a chance to speak with you on any topic. We still have an eternity of laughter and tears to share. I look forward to hearing folks' creative additions to this venture, releasing all resonances of their desires to the universe. Always a pleasure to see how you can turn a conversation into a wall written article.