What's In My Bag?

'What's in my bag' is a short story to help you leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Because not all we carry is cute or fluffy.

A brown suitcase lying open on the floor, containing a beige teddy-bear

What’s In My Bag? A Lesson On Packing

Today, I’ll share something I observed from the day I got married. My frequent traveller husband comes home every so many days from his work trips, and immediately unpacks his bag.

He won’t rest or freshen up until he does, no matter how tired he is. “I have to put stuff where it belongs, for the mind to get rest” he says when urged by me to “do it later, honey”.

The clothes he wore on his trip are placed in the laundry basket. Toiletries land up in the bathroom for refilling or replenishment. Gadgets are recharged, and goodies - if any - are handed over to me. “That’s better” he says once done.

And just like that, he restocks his bag with fresh items a night or two before his next trip. His least favourite thing, though, is to make his toiletries fit into the mandatory 20X20 clear bag.

I’ve tried to be of help by getting him minis of everything - shampoo, hair gel, moisturizer, and sunscreen. Despite this, I found a note in the spare bedroom (where he packs) last week. It was stuck on a 100ml bottle of hair oil, stating: “I was offloaded, because I didn’t fit into the 20X20 bag.”

Lol. That made me giggle. Hair oil wasn’t a need of the hour, so instead, he’d prioritised what was.

Our capacity in life, like the 20X20 bag, is similar. We need to get rid of the extras and focus on what’s important in the moment. We can’t function optimally, otherwise.

Photo of a Small Bag With Flowers Coming Out of It by ika dam

What’s In My Bag: Unpacking the Unnecessary

This incident reminded my of my own experience about 11 years ago. I had gone to work one day, and was feeling sad and worn down by life’s difficulties. My manager back then, a kind Australian man who was also a trained psychologist, called me into his office.

“Are you okay? Your whole body language conveys otherwise. You’ve been slumping, barely smiling, and very quiet the past few weeks”, he said.

“Just some things on my mind which I’m struggling with” I replied.

He proceeded to drawing a person with a tiny monkey on their back on his office whiteboard. “We all have monkeys but you have to put them down. Otherwise the monkey grows, and you’ll get tired of a constant backache”.

“Monkey?” I asked perplexed. “Ahh, you mean emotional baggage?”

He nodded. “Put the monkey down, Raksha. You can choose to do so. You’ll feel better, and you’ll have more capacity to carry what you like and need”.

I was grateful for his advice, and with a little bit of therapy and lots of self-talk, I felt better. Man, was it nice to be free of the ever-growing monkey and the constant backache!

What’s In Your Bag?

So that, dear reader, is the story of how I’d offloaded the monkey, just like my husband had offloaded the bottle of hair oil.

Which brings me to the big question of today’s post: What’s in your bag?

Believe it or not, you also have a 20X20 bag: an analogy for the limited emotional capability one has to function in life. So…..

Have you been watching the news recently, and feeling heavy-hearted? Have you been facing struggles at home? Maybe you’ve been carrying around a hurtful thing someone said or did to you years ago? Or are you constantly thinking of the future and how it will turn out, unable to sleep at night? It could be anything, really.

If yes, are you ready to let it go? To unpack it, and leave it behind? To drop the monkey and rid yourself of the backache?

Here Are 3 Ways to Unpack

1. Write down what bothers you/you carry around without even thinking. Do this in a journal or through notes on your phone.

2. Ask yourself what you get by carrying each thought or feeling around. In Marie Kondo’s words: if it doesn’t bring you joy, get rid of it. Priceless advice applicable anywhere :)

3. Decide how you want to get rid of it: consider therapy if it really feels like a big issue, because some things simply need a professional’s help and unbiased opinion. You can also speak to the person you have a problem with to sort things out. Clarity gives the mind rest. If you realise you’ve been carrying things around for no reason, then breathe. Let them go right away and rejoice: you’ve found the easiest way out, baby!

Bonus: 5 Things to Repack Your Bag With

If you did the exercise above, and find more space in your 20x20 bag, here are some cool things to fill it with:

1. Fond memories of the people you love. Carry those around with pride :)

2. Hobbies you always wanted to explore but never did. Go for it, yes!

3. Fun things you have planned for the future. Aspirations and goals give us new energy, did you know?

4. Self-care routines: You choose how you like to be pampered. Treat yourself, pretty please.

5. Friendships: Because friends make us smile.

I hope this analogy-filled story is the catalyst for letting go of emotional baggage, monkeys, and whatever else weighs you down. Here’s to a week where you start to shine, and feel light and free again :)

Warm regards,

Raksha