I am facing this now. I think I've done enough....Anyway, anything I wanted to impart had to start in babyhood because teenagers know everything (I remember being 15!) The only really important knowledge I can give them is knowing they are loved. Thanks for this reflection, Raksha.
Thank you for sharing, and I can only imagine how it must feel for you at this stage Lisa. I must say that even if we kids look like we weren't paying attention, we sure were. The realisations thereof hit us when we are trying to be all cool and independent, as much as we hate to admit it. If they know they're loved, they will cherish that forever.
And sometimes being a guardian, teach you so much about being a child as well as a parent! I have a 2 and half year old niece, such a cute angel she is, whenever she see me On a video call, she calls out, "Mama, ohei ohei", that makes me determined to be a friend of her while being the adult she trust upon, one who she can go to for whatever problem she is into, and I should stay for any thing to provide her with the best support I can.
She shows me how resilient kids are while preparing me for the hard questions she gonna throw over me in near future.
While is time to experience the parent child relationship, I am understanding the Mature-Immature relationship, while trying to figure out how much of both are fine.
It's incredibly precious that you can be that person for her. She will remember you as a safe place, no matter how hard life gets. That's a wonderful gift for someone, even if we are not their parent, Rajnikant :)
Like yourself Raksha, I can only pretend to know what that letting go struggle feels like for a parent...But then again, to this day in my life, I find that the letting go process, as a focused singular narrative, seems to override the natural undeniable traits of holding on. Perhaps there is a way to find, or trust, that a happy co-existence between both can be established. To contradict myself here, I can say that as a caretaker & educator, loving young children always comes with completely letting go, while parents have the privilege of still holding on... and I think deep down, parents know that such a privilege is there to treasure...even if they have to work on hiding it.
I'm sure there is, and I think you have described that balance better than I could have. Holding on and letting go at the same time are not easy and definitely not something for everyone. I still see parents struggle with this, hence the reason for sharing a child's perspective.
I think the child's perspective that you conveyed is invaluable and gave eloquent and much needed insight into the child's experience. For this I was truly touched, because children's perspectives are often secondary in the parent-child platform. In the light of vulnerability, I wondered a lot how that letting go process felt for an adult child versus a child that experienced complete letting go and detachment while still a child. Hence your article was deeply intriguing, insightful and delightful.
I am facing this now. I think I've done enough....Anyway, anything I wanted to impart had to start in babyhood because teenagers know everything (I remember being 15!) The only really important knowledge I can give them is knowing they are loved. Thanks for this reflection, Raksha.
Thank you for sharing, and I can only imagine how it must feel for you at this stage Lisa. I must say that even if we kids look like we weren't paying attention, we sure were. The realisations thereof hit us when we are trying to be all cool and independent, as much as we hate to admit it. If they know they're loved, they will cherish that forever.
And sometimes being a guardian, teach you so much about being a child as well as a parent! I have a 2 and half year old niece, such a cute angel she is, whenever she see me On a video call, she calls out, "Mama, ohei ohei", that makes me determined to be a friend of her while being the adult she trust upon, one who she can go to for whatever problem she is into, and I should stay for any thing to provide her with the best support I can.
She shows me how resilient kids are while preparing me for the hard questions she gonna throw over me in near future.
While is time to experience the parent child relationship, I am understanding the Mature-Immature relationship, while trying to figure out how much of both are fine.
It's incredibly precious that you can be that person for her. She will remember you as a safe place, no matter how hard life gets. That's a wonderful gift for someone, even if we are not their parent, Rajnikant :)
Like yourself Raksha, I can only pretend to know what that letting go struggle feels like for a parent...But then again, to this day in my life, I find that the letting go process, as a focused singular narrative, seems to override the natural undeniable traits of holding on. Perhaps there is a way to find, or trust, that a happy co-existence between both can be established. To contradict myself here, I can say that as a caretaker & educator, loving young children always comes with completely letting go, while parents have the privilege of still holding on... and I think deep down, parents know that such a privilege is there to treasure...even if they have to work on hiding it.
I'm sure there is, and I think you have described that balance better than I could have. Holding on and letting go at the same time are not easy and definitely not something for everyone. I still see parents struggle with this, hence the reason for sharing a child's perspective.
I think the child's perspective that you conveyed is invaluable and gave eloquent and much needed insight into the child's experience. For this I was truly touched, because children's perspectives are often secondary in the parent-child platform. In the light of vulnerability, I wondered a lot how that letting go process felt for an adult child versus a child that experienced complete letting go and detachment while still a child. Hence your article was deeply intriguing, insightful and delightful.